Mental masturbation = cerebral orgasm

I thought I'd write something about masturbation. I don't know why. I suppose I've been doing a lot of mental masturbation lately. That's not to say I've been having an inordinate amount of sexual fantasies, I've just been stroking a lot of places in my mind that A) bring me some form of pleasure, or B) are stimulating. Some good will come of these thoughts, I'm sure...one way or another. They will motivate me, or they won't. Either way it's a win/win situation. Unlike sexual masturbation, I can touch and stimulate anywhere the mood strikes without fear of reprisal. I can indulge while standing in line at the grocery store, letting my minds eye roll back and my inner person writh and gasp as I touch on places that make my future shiver. I can let ripples of pleasure shudder across my grey matter when I touch on my most inner thoughts and dreams, letting them creep along at their own pace, soaring far into fantasy. And all without anyone being aware. The beauty of all masturbation is: No matter what, I am always satisfied at the end --in varying degrees, but always satisfied. There is always a climax...at some point. Sometimes it doesn't come for days, as I return time and again to a favoured thought, letting myself be carried away by it, until I bring it to a final and mind-numbing conclusion. There is a downside to mental masturbation...several in fact. Sometimes it leads to want, and sometimes it leads to disappointment. Reality rarely has a chance when put to the comparison and, that can lead to dissatisfaction. And interesting mix of cerebral orgasm tainted by reality. I like that...cerebral orgasm. Turning 30 means I'm getting closer to my sexual peak. I wonder if that means mental masturbation will improve as well. I like to think so. And if I turn out to be right, I'll be indulging more and more. That thought makes 30 a little less irritating. I'm not dealing so well with the whole 30 business, so having found one thing that's positive about it is a nice change of pace. I'm over my pity party. They don't usually last more than a few hours before I kick all the guests out and clean up the mess left behind. This one must have been a binge, having lasted a few days, but I can say it's over now. Cleaning up the mess is going to take a little longer than usual, but I'm prepared to do it. Mostly. One of the things I'm most proud of about myself is, I'm always able to find the good in everything...so it was just a matter of doing that. Sometimes I have to dig deep to find it, but I've always managed to do it. I had to dig deeper than I ever have before, but I shouldn't have doubted I would. It was a good lesson, and a good test; making myself go farther than I've had to previously. It prevents stagnation. It raises the bar. I'm glad it happened. Life: Bring it on. I'm armed with the most powerful weapon. Mental Masturbation.